First Chapters, Self Doubt

I've written the two first chapters of my new book yesterday, and invited in my old friend, self doubt.

Me: Hey, self doubt, please, come in.

SD: Thanks Michael. Don't mind if I sit down.

Me: That's actually my chair...

SD: Yeah.

Me: Uh... Would you like to drink anything? Tea? Coffee?

SD: Can you make coffee the way I like?

Me: I don't know, how do you like it?

SD: that's disappointing. Water's fine.

Me: Right. One glass of water, coming right up.

SD: Glass, huh?

Me: I don't... would you rather drink a mug of water?

SD: Nevermind. I'm not thirsty anymore. What do we have here?

Me: The first two chapters of my new book. Isn't it great?

SD: So this is a chase scene, huh?

Me: Well, it's more of an introduction. I want the readers to get a feel for the characters.

SD: There's a chase here.

Me: Yeah...

SD: It's crap.

Me: I know. I totally intend to rewrite it later.

SD: Of course you are. And the fact that you don't know how to write a chase scene doesn't have any impact on your writing skills.

Me: I didn't say it did. Does it?

SD: So, second chapter. What do we have here. Mhm. Uh huh. Hmmmm.

Me: I mean, I guess I could make it a bit more... interesting?

SD: Yeah?

Me: Yeah, I mean the first part definitely needs working on, and the dialog here about the elevator...

SD: Interesting character here, this Richie.

Me: Is he?

SD: What do you think?

Me: I can rewrite it. I can rewrite it all.

SD: No, no, it's really okay. I'm not bored at all.

Me: Bored? It's just the first two chapters...

SD: I think I'd like that water after all. It's becoming really dry here.

Some rewrites later this week. People say you should never edit the first draft while working on it. I say, get out of my office, I'm trying to work here, and stop giving me advice.